we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
