I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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