Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
