are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
