Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
