dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
