why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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