was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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