WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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