Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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