she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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