i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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