I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize