Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am one with the molecules
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
