Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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