Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
