Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
