Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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