$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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