he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
