never play flip cup with pint glasses
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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