I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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