dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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