I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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