Heybabeimwearingurpanties
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
