eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
