He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
