Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if only i could text you this smell
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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