we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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