apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Pooping to opera.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
