Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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