hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
