When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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