if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
sex in a hospital.. check
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
