So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I just put wine in my tea
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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