last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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