Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I forget how to act sober
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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