i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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