non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
