I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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