Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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