I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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