May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
