So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
