Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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