you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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