I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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