If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
