it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Someone came in the potted fern
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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