and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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