with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
