So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
