Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
