i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
