So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
