Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize