Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
