i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
