his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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