i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I have post one night stand depression
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