Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
