Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I supernannyed him into submission
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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