it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
