I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
